a million reasons why

I started thinking about having kids in my early twenties, and ever since I've been planning out all the things I will get to share with them: music, movies, science, the sky, why I love reading, why family is important...   All the usual stuff, I'm sure.  But today I read a passage from Catherine Newman's articles Bringing Up Ben & Birdie and I realized that I really want kids because they are hilarious.

     "And poor, napless Ben is just a weepy wreck by dinnertime. I ran a bath for him the other evening, hoping to relax him a little before bed. But then he didn't want to get in, so I got in and relaxed by myself while Ben stood naked on the bathmat and unraveled into desperate, tired shreds of himself: "Are you getting out now? Are you? Come on, Mama, here's your towel." At one point he was rooting around under the sink and emerged with a fistful of Tampax. "Hey, Mama," he said as he held them out to me like a bouquet, "do you need any of these tampons?" But then he lost his grip on them and they dropped into the tub and he had a complete nervous breakdown over it. The wrappers were all disintegrating and the tampons began blooming into their wet alien-rodent shapes, and Ben was trying to gather them up, sobbing, "What are these? What's happening?" Maybe I'll write to the good folks at Calgon and see if they want to come shoot some commercials over here ..."

I basically want kids so I can laugh at with them.  :)